Utopia
by abbynormal420
Summary: Is anywhere safe in a world full of walkers? Where the living want what you have and the dead just want you for dinner?...When someone shows up that Daryl thought was gone forever, old feelings surface and new hope is found...this is rated M. for blood/gore, drug/alcohol use, child abuse/neglect, and adult situations *STORY STATUS: IN PROGRESS*... DISCLAIMER: I ONLY OWN THE O.C.s


**PLEASE LET ME APOLOGIZE NOW FOR MY TERRIBLE PUNCTUATION, I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, I SUCK AT IT !_ ..._THIS STORY TAKES PLACE BOTH PRE-Z AND POST-Z, I PLAN FOR THE POST-Z PARTS TO MOSTLY OCCUR DURING THE SECOND HALF OF THE THIRD SEASON, SOMEWHERE AROUND RICKS MEETING WITH THE GOVERNOR IN THE FEED STORE** (I'm still working that out)** AND HOPEFULLY WILL CONTINUE TO WHEREEVER MY IMAGINATION TAKES ME AND PLEASE FORGIVE THE LENGTH OF THIS PROLOGUE, I HAVE A LOT OF BACK-STORY TO GET THROUGH UNTIL THE APOCALYPSE. ALSO IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT DARYLS NINE YEAR OLD CUSSIN' VOCABULARY, WELL LET'S JUST SAY THAT HE HAS PICKED A FEW WORDS FROM HIS BROTHER :)... DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT MY O.C.'s ... **CHAPTER STATUS: COMPLETE**  **

******! WARNING THERE WILL BE OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE, REFERENCES TO DRUG USE/ADDICTION AND UNDERAGE DRINKING, GRAPHIC CHILD ABUSE/NEGLECT , BULLYING, AND VIOLENCE!**

* * *

**This prologue is dedicated to my mother. The Cyndi Kelly character is inspired by her. She was one of a kind and is still greatly missed by everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her.**

_**R.I.P. Cynthia Lee 10/08/51-7/19/89**_

_**beloved mother, sister, friend**_

* * *

**\ _Siobhan -(English pronunciation:"Shi-vaun") is a feminine Irish name meaning "God is gracious" /_**

* * *

_**TWD: UTOPIA **_ by AbbyNormal420

** PROLOGUE**

_**CHAPTER 1: To all the things that have come before**_

The little girl sat under the tree by the pond reading her book, it was her favorite book 'Call of the wild' by Jack London, she had already read it ten times and would probably read it hundreds more in her life, or so she hoped. She and her mother had just moved to north Georgia from Florida, the girl missed Florida and her friends there, but her mother had wanted a new start in a new place, after the girls' father had left them.

A bird took flight from the waters edge causing the girl to look up, she watched as it winged its way across the sky and out of sight behind the treeline, then she looked back down to the book in her lap. 'Poor Buck!' she thought to herself as she read the next paragraph 'How could anyone be so mean?' she felt sad for the dog in the story, not understanding at the tender age of eight, the kind of evil people were capable of. The only hurt she had ever known, was her father moving out of the house and in with her babysitter.

As she turned to the next page and continued reading about the trials and triumphs of Buck the dog, a shadow fell over the page. The girl looked up to see a boy standing next to her, he hadn't seen her sitting there yet. The boy had brown hair and sad blue eyes, he was very thin and seemed to be a little older than her. He was looking at the water, still not noticing her.

"Excuse me, you're standing in my light" the girl said to him and the boy jumped, she had startled him.

"Go'way this is MY place!" he yelled at her, angry because she had made him jump

"I didn't see any names on it! So how do I know it's yours?" The girl yelled back

"Cuz I say so, that's why!"

"Well I'm NOT leaving" she hmphed at him "and you can't make me"

"Whatever!" was all he said as he went to sit by the water

She glared at his back and turned her eyes back down to her book, determined to ignore him.

* * *

Daryl Dixon sat by the water fuming '_This is my place! She has no right!'_ and this was his place, it was where he came to think, where he came when his father was on a bender and itching to dish out pain. His father was a mean drunk and now that Merle was out of the house, Daryl was his only target. 'Of course, even when Merle was around, I was usually his target too' he thought as he ripped some grass up and threw it into the water 'Heck, I'm usually everyones target!' Daryl glanced over his shoulder out of the corner of his eye at the girl ' And why the hell is she reading that stupid book? It's summer and there ain't even no school now.' He got up and walked back to her, then tore the book out of her lap

"What'cha got this for?" he sneered at her, then looking at the name on the inside cover "and what the hell kinda name is 'Sio-b-han'?"

"It's 'Shi-vaun'! and you'd best give that back right now!" she had jumped up, red faced "That's mine!"

"geez! it don't even got no pictures" he said as he thumbed through it "Why you want a book with no pictures? You stupid or sumthin'?"

"Shut up!" the girl tried to grab it and he held it over his head

"Jump for it, HAHA, you too short girl, HAHA" he laughed at her

He was having so much fun teasing her, he didn't even care that there were tears in her eyes as she frantically tried to reach the book, it just felt good to take some of his anger out on someone for once, all the bullying from his father and from Merle. She jumped higher,long red hair flying and almost got her fingers on to it, he twisted out of the way and the girl stumbled and fell foward onto her knees, now she was sobbing, tears pouring out of her bright green eyes, looking at him in pain and hurt, there was blood on her right knee, she had scraped it badly on a rock when she went down. Daryl felt his face heat up with guilt for causing her to hurt herself, he had only meant to tease her a little. "I'm just like Merle' he thought to himself 'Damn! I'm nine years old and already an asshole', now he felt truly ashamed of himself. He got down on his knees in front of her and set the book down next to her

"I'm sorry, here's your book." he tried to pull her hand away from her bleeding knee "let me see, It's not that bad, don't cry, I didn't mean it" her tears were making him uncomfortable

"Don't touch me" she slapped his hand away "I don't need your help" she grabbed her book and stood up, eyes red from crying

"Sorry! I was just trying to see if you were o.k.! geez" he stood up too

*_**WHACK***_ she kicked him in the shin, he went down on his rump in pain, holding his leg

"HAHA" she laughed at him as she ran off

"Damn!" he muttered to himself, rubbing his shin, watching her leave...

* * *

Siobhan Kelly ran home fast, after kicking the boy in the shin, when she got there, she raced up the narrow steps and burst through the door of the single-wide trailer she had just moved into with her mother.

"Siobhan? is that you ?" her mother called to her from the floor of the kitchen "come here and help me with this stuff." as Siobhan walked over, her mother noticed the blood on her knee

"What did you do to yourself Vonnie?" her mother asked, using her nickname

"Nuthin' momma, I just fell down is all" she lied, knowing her mother would make a big fuss if she told her the truth "do you know what box the band-aids are in?"

"Sure baby, they're right over here..." her mother got up from the floor where she had been sitting ,going through a box of books, and looked around at the other boxes all over the place "somewhere... well? help me look for the box marked bathroom" and the two of them started searching together "A-HA! here we go, found it!"

Her mother dug through the appropriate box, locating the band-aids and some anti-biotic cream. She then picked up Siobhan and deposited her on the counter next to the sink. Wetting a clean papertowel, she cleaned the wound on her daughters knee, spread some cream on the scrape, covering it with one of the self-adhesive bandages, she placed a kiss on it and asked

"All better Vonnie?"

"Yes momma, it doesn't even hurt anymore" Siobhan hopped off the counter "Do you think we'll ever get all this stuff put away?"

"Probably not" her mother laughed "but we can try"

the two of them sat down together and tried...

* * *

Daryl was in the trailer he lived in with his drunken father, looking through the fridge, where he found nothing but a ketchup bottle and one can of beer. His father was passed out on the couch, again. Daryls stomach grumbled loudly, his father snorted and rolled over, Daryl looked up and hoped the stupid drunk didn't wake up at the sound, because he would blame Daryl for waking him up and there would be another beating. 'God! I'm starving' he thought, he tip-toed into the tiny living room area, and lifted his fathers pants from the recliner and pulled out his fathers wallet, thinking that he could walk the three miles to the small town nearby and buy something to eat, he opened it...nothing! 'guess I'm gonna have to try an catch a squirrel for supper' but that was a maybe, he was still learning and came up empty handed more often than not. He headed for the door still tip-toeing, he closed it softly behind him. 'What is that?' he wondered as the scent of cooking meat came to him, he followed it to the edge of the property his trailer sat on. Creeping through the bushes, he decided that it was coming from what used to be an empty trailer next door. When he peeked through the leaves of a large bush, he saw the little girl who had kicked him

"Are they ready yet?" the girl excitedly asked a woman, who Daryl assumed was her mother. the woman was standing in front of a large grill, flipping what looked to be hamburgers, Daryls mouth watered and his belly growled even louder this time

"Not yet Vonnie, soon though, I promise" the woman said to the girl "Why don't you be a good girl and go inside and get some paper plates and the bag of buns for these, but bring more than two of the plates so we have extra to soak up some of this grease." the girl ran inside

Daryl was watching and wondering what it would be like to have someone who would cook him meals, someone like a parent who actually cared if he was fed. Merle would cook the meat they caught on their excursions into the woods, when he was around that is, but that mostly consisted of throwing it on a fire till it was black. It wasn't the same as **_COOKING. _**Daryl couldn't remember his mother, couldn't even remember if she had ever cooked for him, she had taken off when he was just a toddler, or so his father claimed while he was beating him, telling Daryl that it was his fault. The door to the trailer banged open and the girl came running out, carrying the requested items.

"Are they done now?"

"Almost, now I want you to go back in, wash your hands, then bring the ketchup and mustard out. can you do that?"

"Yes momma"

"And no running! I don't want you to fall and scrape your other knee" the woman called to the girls retreating back

"Yes momma"

Daryl winced at the last part, feeling guilty again. He really hadn't meant for the girl to get hurt, he felt in that moment, that he deserved the beatings his father dished out, that he really was worthless like his father and brother said. He felt like an intruder, watching the scene between mother and daughter, believing he wasn't worthy to even observe a happy family. He turned to go and caught sight of the woman looking right at him. HE'D BEEN CAUGHT 'uh-oh'

"Hello there! you must be my neighbor" the woman said to him "Don't be shy, come on over, I don't bite" now she smiled at him "But I don't make any promises about my daughter..."

Daryl laughed, he didn't mean to, but he did 'That was funny!' he thought, he figured that since he was caught, it would be rude to not go over. He could hear Merle in his head ' You worried 'bout be'n rude boy? you pussy!' As he walked out of the bush he had been trying (and failing) to hide in, he felt himself blushing, he was embarrassed about being caught in a bush, spying. He just stood there as the woman looked him over, still smiling at him, and he blushed harder. He had never had anyone actually look happy to see him before, but this woman did

"My name is Cyndi Kelly" she said to him kindly while holding out her hand, she looked at him expectantly

"daryldixon" he mumbled to his feet, taking her hand, he'd never been any good at talking to people, kids or grown-ups

"I'm sorry honey I didn't catch that..."

"Daryl Dixon" he said more clearly, then he looked up as the girl came running from the house carrying condiments

"Well Daryl Dixon this is my daughter Siobhan" Cyndi said waving at the girl "Siobhan this is Daryl" the girl narrowed her eyes at him and he felt his face heat up even more

"hello" Daryl muttered looking down again, wondering if she had told her mother exactly what had happened, or if she would now, but she said nothing, she just stared at him

" Vonnie what is wrong with you? Aren't you gonna say hi?" her mother scolded her

"Hi" was all she said before turning and putting the condiments on a picnic table, then sitting down,her back to him. Her mother watched her go, a puzzled expression on her face, then she shook her head and looked back to Daryl

"Are you hungry Daryl? We have plenty"

"No ma'am" he said as his stomach betrayed him *_GROWLLLL*, _he hung his head low in shame at being caught in a lie

"I tell you what Daryl, how 'bout you go sit over there while I take these burgers off the grill, and maybe you'll change your mind about whether or not you're hungry" she nudged him gently towards the table

As he sat down the girl purposefully turned away from him, he was about to apologize again but thought better of it as Cyndi brought the plate full of hamburgers to the table, she set them down right in front of Daryl, then still standing she put a plate in front of Siobhan and then one in front of herself. She turned to him

"Are you SURE you're not hungry Daryl?" she was looking at him, he knew his eyes were as big as saucers staring at the juicy burgers, he was so hungry, it smelled so good, he gave in

"Ma'am, I think I'm hungry after all" he had three...

* * *

Siobhan watched out of the corner of her eye as the boy ate, she had never see a person eat so fast,. They had a dog when she was younger, he would eat like that, Siobhan used to giggle watching that dog scarf down his food. She had asked her momma once why it ate like that and her momma told her "_because he was starved before we got him Vonnie, he eats so fast because he's afraid someones gonna take it from him or that he's never gonna get another meal' , _then her mother had started reading "Call of the wild" to her and Siobhan still didn't understand, but she was starting to while she was watching the boy eat. She could see how skinny he was and how fast he was eating and thought to herself 'that's what starved really means' she felt sad for him and only had one burger, so he could have more, her mother did the same. When they were done eating, her mother gathered up the dirty plates and threw them in the outside garbage can, then she went into the house and re-emerged carrying three cans of soda and handed one to each of them

"How 'bout we let these burgers settle, then we can have some ice cream" she said to them as she sat back down at the table, the boy, Daryl, looked at her mother wide-eyed and seemed surprised, Siobhan could almost hear his thought 'What? there's more?'

"So Daryl what grade are you...?" her mother started to ask, but just then the phone in the house rang, startling all of them "forgot that was hooked up today...I'll be back" her mother left to answer it

Siobhan and the boy sat quietly for a minute, he looked as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't seem to get it out, so Siobhan spoke first

"I'm sorry I kicked you" she really did feel bad about that, especially after seeing him eat, she couldn't be mad

"S'kay I deserved it" he said "I'm the one 'should be sorry"

and after that, they were friends...

* * *

_**Five years later**__**...**_

Daryl and Siobahn were sitting on the couch in her living room, watching Elvira: mistress of the dark, the movie was 'The Toxic Avenger'. Siobahns' mom was at work, so they were alone in the house. Daryl was here more often than he was at home 'Hell, this is more home to me than my actual home" he thought. They both had their feet up on the coffee table and were leaning towards each other, shoulders almost touching, almost. Daryl had been noticing lately that things seemed to be changing between them, Vonnie was always trying to put her hands on him, on his hand, on his arm, then just a few minutes ago it was his leg. He was always able to move out of the way in time. He didn't like being touched, the only kind of touching he knew was getting a beating or fighting, which he was doing a lot more now that he was bigger, stronger, and better fed. Case in point: he had gotten into a fight today with some asshole from school, the peckerwood was saying bad shit about Vonnie so Daryl had broken his nose for him. She and him might just be friends but no-one, absolutely no-one said anything bad about her and got away with it...NOONE! She was the same way, he knew she had been in more than one fight (_and come out on top!)_ because somebody was talking smack about him and Merle. That was funny, because she actually seemed to like Merle, and even stranger was the fact that Merle seemed to like her, he was always calling her "little shadow" because she was always following Daryl around, also because she was completely silent in the woods, never breaking a twig or so much as rustling a leaf, and Merle respected the hell out of her for it 'Probably the only female Merle ever has, or ever will' Daryl respected her too, her and her mother both, they treated the Dixon brothers like they were something, never looking down on them, not even Merle with his dishonorable discharge and drug problem. He just got the feeling that Siobhan wanted something from him lately and he wasn't for sure what that was, maybe she was just being friendly?

The movie was over and it was getting late, Cyndi had just gotten home and Daryl said goodnight, headed back to his shitty trailer, hoping his sot of a father was passed out good. He was still thinking about the way 'Vonnie had tried to touch his leg, he regretted moving it out of the way, he wondered what it would've felt like if he had let her hand come down on his thigh. his face heated up and felt a stirring in his groin, he felt dizzy from how fast the blood was leaving his brain and going everywhere else. He was thoroughly distracted when he walked into the door, and didn't notice his father standing behind it

** *WHOOSH* **then ***CRACK*...** then nothing...

Daryl came to, face down on the floor, with his father sitting on his back. His head was killing him, and he was disoriented

"Ya little fucker, I'll teach you!" his father yelled at him "I saw ya sittin with that little whore all cozy like!" Daryl felt a searing heat, run in a line down his back "How do ya think she'll like this" then another line "She wont think yer purty now boy!" and again "She's gonna run screaming from ya when ahm done wit' ya!" and again "maybe I'll do her next"

Daryl was twisting in agony, trying to dislodge the weight on his back, he managed to turn over, and then he saw the knife in his fathers hand. His father hit him, Daryl tried to cover his face as his father hit him again and again. Then he felt the pain in his chest, the burning again 'Was he stabbed?' he wondered 'Is it finally over now?' 'No' he told himself 'The asshole ain't killin' me, jus' cuttin' me'...

* * *

Siobhan waited at their bus stop for Daryl, the school bus would be there any minute. She looked up the road to where his driveway was...nothing, she considered knocking on his door, but thought it wasn't a good idea 'might start trouble with his father' she thought. She didn't know what to do, he had never not shown up before, never-ever. The bus was coming, she could see it over the hill 'maybe he just overslept, we were up late' she looked towards his driveway again, hoping to see him...nothing, she was worried, very worried, she turned and ran back to her house, running into her mothers bedroom, she shook her moms shoulder

"Momma! Wake up!"

"What baby?" her mother mummered sleepily, tired from working late

"Daryl wasn't there for the bus! he NEVER misses the bus!"

"Maybe he's sick Vonnie"

"NO! Daryl don't get sick and even if he did, he would rather be in school with pneumonia then at home with his father all day!"

"Shit!" her mother leaped out of bed "Let me get dressed"...

* * *

Cyndi Kelly was standing at the edge of her property, looking at the Dixon house, searching for any sign of Daryl that would keep her from having to knock on the door and deal with "that man!'...nothing 'Shit!' she reached behind her and checked that her .38 revolver was still in the waistband of her jeans... "yup!'. She looked back to make sure Siobhan had stayed in the house like she was told...'yup'. She stepped foward, slowly making her way to the door 'Well here goes nothing' she thought and lifted her hand

***knock* *knock***

"Hellooo! anybody in there?"

***knock* *knock***

"Whats wit' all tha poundin'?" the disgusting man yelled as he yanked open the door

"Hello we've never met before" she told him 'thank god!' ... "but I was wondering if Daryl is here"

"Why tha fuck ya care where he is? I know I don't!"

" Well sir I...uhhhhh... was hoping to get him to do some work on my...uhhh..screen door, and of course I'd pay him!" she told him knowing a cover of work and the offer of money would soothe this drunk lout, addicts LOVE money, it means they can buy more of whatever it is they want...booze...coke...heroin. An addict is an addict.

"he ain't here righ' now , I'll send 'im ov'r when he ge's back" he said with greed. Cyndi could see the thought behind his eyes 'I'll steal it from the little shit' , she smiled inside knowing she had him hooked, now for the grande finale

"Oh that would be great thanks! but are you sure he's up to it? I mean , I heard he missed school and I hope he's feeling up to it, I wouldn't want to bother him if he's sick." she bullshitted

"he's jus' fin', he jus' went off ya kno' " he waved vaguely

"Oh I know what you mean...well thank you very much, have a nice day" she walked back to her own yard smiling now. oh! she knew how to deal with that kind of asshole, she had done it her entire childhood, of course her asshole had also been a pervert...she looked back at the Dixon door 'hmmm? maybe?'

As she entered her house, Siobhan nearly knocked her over

"well? is he there? is he okay?"

"He's not there but I know he's alive at least, and thats something?"

"How? how? how do you know?"

"I have my ways...now I need you to tell me where he goes when he needs to get away? do you know?"

"YES! I'll go right now!"

"NO! you're going to stay right here, lock the doors when I leave and don't open them for anyone except me... just tell me where it is"

* * *

Daryl was lying on his side in the tent Merle had given him for his birthday, two years ago? He knew that is was secondhand and had probably been stolen, knowing Merle. He really didn't care though, he saw it as his. The wound on his chest had stopped bleeding, he wasn't sure about the ones on his back, he couldn't see them. He hurt all over, and couldn't see out of his left eye 'Bet I do look like a monster' he thought 'All cut up and bleeding'. He jerked when he heard a sound, grunting as he sat up. 'Is that someone coming closer?' ... ***snap* *crunch*** ...'well it can't be Siobhan, she wouldnt make that much noise'... he instantly thought of his father, he started to panic, not knowing which way to turn 'How'd he find me?'...then he heard it

"Daryl?" a voice called to him, it sounded feminine "are you in there?"

"G'WAY!" ... then to himself 'NO! I canna let her see me like this!' he was thinking that it was Siobhan after all

"Daryl! its Cyndi!" a shadow on the front of the tent "can I come in?"

"Cyndi?" he repeated softly, turning it into a question

"Yes. Can I come in?"

"K...I reckon"

The door flap was un-zipped and pulled open, and Cyndi ducked in carrying a small blue bag. He would never admit it but he was really glad to see her, he felt tears stinging his eyes and held them back, hearing Merle in his head, telling him "_Suck it up pussy"._ Cyndi looked at him concern etched on her face

"Sweet Jesus! come on honey , I'm taking you to the hospital!"

"No! I ain't going to no damned doctor! NO WAY!"

"O.K. , O.K." she held her hands up " No doctor...but honey you have to let me help you"

"I'm fine! I don't need no help!"

"If you say so" she said soothingly, then added as an aside "Sure hope you Don't get some kind of flesh eating bacteria, but like you said you're fine, so no worries right?" she started out of the tent

"Cyndi?" he said in a whisper "You can never tell Vonnie about this, EVER! O.K."

"Never" she agreed and she helped him pull his shirt off where the blood had dried and stuck it to his wounds...

* * *

_**Two years later...**_

It was January sixth and was Daryls sixteenth birthday, and of course he was at Siobhans house celebrating. It's not like he was going to celebrate at his house, if you could call it that, he was never there. He either slept in the woods or on their couch. Vonnie made him a cake, it was a little lopsided, but it tasted GREAT.

"Happy Birthday Daryl" she said to him and handed him a box

"I said NO presents! don'cha listen?" he had meant it. their fussing made him uncomfortable

" Happy Birth-day..." Cyndi chimed in, then *cough* *cough* "Daryl" *cough* *cough*

"Are you O.K. momma?" Vonnie asked her

"Just fine, baby" *cough* *cough* "I'm just getting a cold is all"

Daryl thought Cyndi did look a little pale and he hoped she got over it quickly, Vonnie prodded him

"Open it! Open it!" she chanted "awww, come on!"

Daryl tore the card open, it read '_just in case', _then he pulled the lid off the box and inside sat a roll of toilet paper, printed on the first sheet was '**ITCHY ASS AVOIDANCE SYSTEM- JUST PULL AND USE'**

**"**Freakin' har-de-har-har" he glared at them, he didn't like anyone making fun of his poison oak faux pas. he NEVER should've told them about that "REALLY FUNNY"

"Oh come'on Daryl, it's all in good fun! You know we love you!" Vonnie told him

'Love?' daryl pondered that a moment, 'That's impossible' he decided...

* * *

**_Later that night..._**

Daryl was on the couch asleep, when he woke suddenly and noticed Vonnie standing over him, just looking at him. She leaned down so that she was just inches from his face, he was trapped, there was nowhere to go but up, and she was up. He just lay there frozen, as she pressed her lips softly to his

"Happy Birthday" she whispered against his mouth, then she walked back into her room and closed the door...

* * *

_**A little over nine months later...**_

It was Halloween and it was Siobhans sixteenth birthday, Daryl had worked for about six months at the job Merle had got him with a construction crew. He was staying with Merle in Atlanta too, at least during the week, but on the weekends he visited with Cyndi and Vonnie. Siobhan had been a little sad when he told her he was going to move to Atlanta, of course she seemed to get sad alot lately. He couldn't figure out why, and he imagined that it must be some kind of girl problem. He hoped the present he had got for her birthday would cheer her up a little, He'd been saving for eight weeks to buy it.

He pulled the Compound bow out of the box, and examined it again. It was a Martin pro-series-M/56 Scepter-300FPS, small and compact it was perfect for her slim build. He just knew she would love it, and couldn't wait to see her face when she opened it...

A few hours later he was at her home, putting the box in front of her

"Where's your mom?" he wanted Cyndi to see it too

"Uh...she's working, she...uh...couldn't get out of it. I'll...uh...show it to her later" she stated, Daryl got the feeling she was lying, but felt it was none of his business

"WELL! Are you gonna open it or not?"

"Oh...o.k." and she did, she was holding the bow in her hands, a sad smile on her lips "Thank you"

"That's it? Don'cha like it?"

"Yes, it's very nice"

"Nice?" Daryl asked her with hurt in his voice "What is wrong with you? You're always so fuckin' sad and miserable anymore" That made her angry

"OH! AM I?" she yelled at him "If you Don't like it, why do you come around then?"

"I DON"T KNOW! Maybe I won't anymore! will that make you happy?" he shouted back, hoping the answer was 'NO!', but all he got from her was

"whatever"

"FINE! I'm leaving then!" he headed to the door, waiting to hear her say 'sorry' or 'please don't go'

" Don't forget your gift" she said instead of what he wanted to hear

"No" he told her softly "that's yours" he walked out the door, got into the truck he had borrowed from Merle, and drove home...

* * *

_**Two weeks later...**_

Whenever Daryl looked back on the argument between him and Siobhan, he would get angry, he would think back some more, replaying the incident, over and over, then he would get pissed 'What the fuck was her problem?' he would ask himself 'Chicks...pfft..the mysterious sex my ass...the _INFURIATING_ sex is more like it'. To make matters worse, Merle had been fucking with him, asking about her

"Where's your shadow brother? Why you ain't gone to see her? OOOH...did you have a fight? did you cry sissy boy?"

"You best be shuttin' up!" Daryl had warned him

"Why? What'ya gonna do about it sissy, huh? You gonna beat me up? Damn, I'm a tremblin' now...HAHA"

They were working on a roof that day, laying shingle. Daryl pointed his nail-gun at Merle

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AIN"T GONNA TELL YA AGAIN!"

"Awww come on baby brother, Don't get'cha panties in a bunch"

***_plunk* *plunk* *plunk*_**

Merle did a funny little dance, trying to avoid the high speed nails flying at him, it was hilarious watching him hop up and down, waving his arms. Daryl lost it right there, bent over grabbing his knees and laughing his head off

"HAHAHAHA...OH MY GOD" Daryl turned in a circle waving his arms, imitating Merle "*WHHEEEW*...HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he was enjoying himself so much, that he forgot to watch his back. It was something he learned the hard way from his father, and he had made a habit of ALWAYS paying attention since then, untill now. He felt something shove him HARD and he went flying off the roof. As he landed in the dumpster that held the old shingles and other construction waste, he was stuck in the ass by at least a dozen nails "OH SHIT!...MOTHERFUCKER" he looked up at Merles smiling face and heard

"HAHAHAHAHAHA"...

* * *

_**One week later...**_

Daryl couldn't take it anymore, he was going to confront Siobhan, and was not leaving until she told him what was wrong. He wanted to apologize for acting like an idiot and leaving. All he knew was that he was miserable without her in his life, and he HATED it. He couldn't stand needing someone, he had always believed he didn't need anyone and that he was just playing along, pretending friendship, because he had nothing better to do. 'God I am a DUMBASS' he facepalmed himself at that revelation, he had made up his mind, he was going to man up and ask Vonnie to be his girlfriend, like he should've done two years ago on his birthday, when she kissed him. He knew now she was telling him that she wanted to be his girlfriend, that she wanted him, all he had to do was reciprocate. But no he just laid there like a pussy, then never mentioned it, acted like it didn't even happen.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" he pounded the steering wheel "I'm gonna make it right, that's all I can do"

As he pulled into her driveway, he knew right away something was wrong. There were no blinds in the windows, and there was a large pile of their stuff heaped in the yard. He jumped out of the truck the moment he put it into park, and ran to the door

***BANG* *BANG* *BANG***

"VONNIE?" he yelled "CYNDI?"

***BANG* *BANG* *BANG***

He ran around the trailer, jumping to look in each window and he saw that everything was gone, he was worried now 'Did they move?' He was so desperate to know where they had gone, he actually considered going next door and asking his father.

"Fucker wouldn't tell me if he knew" he muttered to himself, then inspiration struck

He got back into the truck, drove the three miles into town and pulled into the parking lot of the Save-A-Lot where Cyndi worked. He got out of the truck intending to go inside and ask someone if Cyndi was working today, or maybe he could find her himself. As he approached the doors, he noticed some people sitting on benches off the side of the building, they were wearing red smocks, and he knew them for employees. He headed towards them, he recognized one of the women as 'Tina' she was friends with Cyndi, he beelined for her. She looked up at him as he neared

"You're Tina right? Cyndis friend?" he asked her and noticed a strange look come over her face

"Yes...Do I know you?" she considered him a moment "Oh! You're Vonnies friend..is it David? Darren?..."

"It's Daryl" he was starting to feel a little relieved, finally some answers "Did they move? 'cause I went by their place and it look'd empty"

"Oh dear" and tears sprung into her eyes "You don't know?"

"KNOW WHAT?" he demanded

"I'm sorrry to be the one to tell you this...but..." and now the tears were rolling down her cheeks "Cyndi passed away about two weeks ago...it was cancer" she tried to put a comforting hand on his arm, and he flinched away, his world crashing down

He sat down hard on the bench, he had never lost anyone he cared about , hell he hadn't ever cared about anyone except Vonnie and Cyndi. He was loyal to his brother but that wasn't the same as _caring. _There was a knot in his chest, it was hard to breathe. He remembered back to the day he met Cyndi, her teasing him with those damned burgers trying to get him to eat, he had never gone hungry after that, and when he got better at hunting, he would bring her venison, and she would cook it up with potatos, onions and mushrooms, then they would all eat it together...'Shit! Vonnie!'

"Where's Vonnie?"

"The police came with a social worker, they took her right from the hospital. It was so sad. I heard she went to a group home for teens until her father could come up from florida and collect her. He came with a u-haul and cleaned out the trailer" she paused "I have his number if you want it"

"YES!" he jumped at that

"Hold on it's in my purse, I'll be right back"

Daryl sat there hurting , he didn't like it, actually he hated it, this pain didn't hurt like a broken bone or a knife wound, it was a hundred times worse. He understood why Vonnie had been so sad now, if she felt like this and it had to have been a MILLION times worse for her, after all it was her mother and he knew how close they were. Then it hit him 'FUCK!' it had to be a BILLION times worse, she had watched her mother die slowly in front of her, fading a little day by day. 'Why didn't she tell me?' he wondered 'I would've helped her' he thought about that for a moment 'Yeah right Dixon, you'd a been a lotta help, cause you're sooo in touch with feelings n shit'. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind, just then Tina came back, he stood up

"Here you go" she handed him a scrap of paper

"Thanks" he mumbled

"I should've got your name right away, Cyndi would talk about you all the time. She loved you, you know. She always called you the son that should have been hers" Tina said kindly " She also once said that you were 'the little hunter that could' She believed you could do anything, if you just set your mind to it"

Daryl nodded at her and turned abrubtly, hiding the tears in his eyes, he walked back to his truck as fast as he could without looking like he was running. He put the truck into reverse and backed out of his space, he shoved it in drive and sped out of the lot, trying to make it to the road, so noone would see the tears streaming from the corners of his eyes...

_**Two hours later...**_

Daryl walked into the apartment he shared with Merle, exhausted from his grief, he knew his eyes were red from crying, he didn't care 'Merle starts in on me, I'm gonna knock his teeth out' he thought viciously 'and I'm gonna enjoy it!' He tossed the keys on the kitchen table and walked through the arch leading to the living room. Merle was sitting on the couch watching wrestling, yelling at the t.v.

"You idiot, get him in a choke hold, there you go, now powerbomb his ass!"

"You know that's fake right?" Daryl asked pointing to the television

"Fake huh? why don'cha come over here an' I'll powerbomb you an' you can tell me if it's fake"

"Whatever" Daryl headed towards his room

"Why're your eyes all red Darylina? did'ja have another fight with your girl? You been cryin' ya pussy"

Daryl turned and pounced on him, punching every inch of flesh he could reach, with everything he had. His fists were making satisfying smacking noises, he put close to seventeen years of bullying and the pain he was feeling about today, into every swing

***SMACK* *SMACK* *SMACK***

"MOTHERFUCKER! ***SMACK* **"ASSHOLE!" ***SMACK* **"YOU FUCKIN' FUCKER!" ***SMACK***

Merle pushed him off and just sat stared at Daryl, stunned

"What'n the hell has got into you?"

"YOU JUST FUCKIN' SHUT UP AN" LEAVE ME ALONE!" Daryl stood in fighting stance waiting for Merles retaliation

"You gonna tell me or what?"

"Cyndi died"

"What?"

"You heard me, that weren't no joke"

"Awww shit! that's a damn shame, I liked that woman"

"Me too" Daryl sighed

"How's Siobhan?" Merle asked, and now it was Daryls turn to be stunned, Merle never used her name, he always called her little shadow, girlie, or he butchered her name on purpose.

"Don't know, she's gone..."

"Gone? Where?"

"Florida, with her dad"

"I'm sorry 'bout that bro" seeing Daryls 'yeah right' look he said "No, I really am"

Daryl sat down in the armchair and said "I've got her number" but when he looked up to see Merles reaction, he wasn't there. Daryl heard clanging coming from the kitchen, the sound of liquid being poured, Then Merle re-appeared carrying two shot glasses, full of what looked like whiskey. He handed one to Daryl, and Motioned him to stand up

"To Cyndi" Merle said raising his glass

"To Cyndi" Daryl repeated

They both downed their shots, and before Daryl had a chance to swallow, Merle had picked him up, spun him around and powerbombed him onto the chair

"Still think it's fake?" Merle asked as Daryl fell off the chair, groaning, grabbing his back

"You asshole!"

Merle just laughed and sat down to watch the next match...

_**One hour later...**_

Daryl had finally worked up the courage to call Vonnie, he still didn't know what he was going to say, but he dialed the number anyway.

***RING* *RING* *RING***

"Hello, Kelly residence" a extremely snotty woman answered

"Uhhh...is Siobhan there?"

"No! She no longer lives here...Thank god!"

"Do you know where she is? I mean, do you have a number or somethin'?" Daryl wondered what could have happened to put that nasty tone in the snotty womans voice 'God! it's only been like two weeks'

"I do not! and I don't want to ever!" she sneered through the phone "And don't you ever call here again!" she hung up

Daryl felt the tears welling up again, he forced them down, afraid Merle might catch him crying. He was still holding the receiver in his hand, he set it gently down on the cradle. He had no idea what to do now, he walked into the other room and Merle looked at him expectantly

"Well?"

"She ain't there and I'm pretty sure she won't ever be there" Daryl slumped his shoulders "I hav'ta go find her..."

"What're gonna do brother, ride up and down every street in Florida yellin' her name?"

"I DON"T KNOW!"

"You're just gonna have to sit and wait and hope she comes to you"

"FUCK!" Daryl gestured helplessly and stomped into his room, he needed to be alone...

* * *

_**Six months later...**_

Daryl was sitting on the roof of his apartment, smoking a cigarrette. It had been six months with no word from Siobhan, he didn't know if she was alive or dead and he had quit caring either way. He was tired of hurting and tired of waiting. Merle was dowstairs in their apartment, he had brought home two skanks he picked up at the bar.

"Brought'ya a present baby bro!" he had said to Daryl as he he'd walked in the door. The skanks had been grabbing at Merles pockets, looking for the meth they knew he had. Daryl was disgusted

But as he sat on the roof, he decided he was never going to care about anyone again,wouldn't ever get close to anyone again, he never wanted to hurt like this again. 'Why am I waiting around?' he asked himself 'For what?' He stood up and climbed down the fire escape to his window

"Never again" he said quietly to himself as he went to join the party...

_**End Prologue**_

**OMG! I TOLD Y'ALL IT WOULD BE LONG...BUT I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THIS LONG! I THINK I'M HAPPY WITH THE WAY IT TURNED OUT... AND TO MY BOONDOCK SAINTS FOLLOWERS- DONT WORRY Y'ALL, I WILL BE FINISHING CH. 5 AND POSTING A NEW CHAPTER SOON...I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON IT AND HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS ROLLING AROUND MY EMPTY HEAD. I HOPE TO POST TWICE WEEKLY TO BOTH BDS AND TWD...WHAT CAN I SAY, I BECAME INSPIRED TO WRITE SOME WALKING DEAD AFTER LAST SUNDAYS EPISODE. I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT Y'ALL THINK AND APPRECIATE ALL REVIEWS...GOOD OR BAD**


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